i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
