Dual....:-)
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize