playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
