Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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