Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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