I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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