i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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