Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
