jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
