ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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