After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
