Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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