shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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