After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
