scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
