In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I cut my penus on the lid.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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