i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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