the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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