I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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