Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
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Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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