He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
