Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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