You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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