so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
