I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
