So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
