Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
