wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you would pick up someone in the library
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i came on her dog
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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