Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
