doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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