Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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