i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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