Don't make out with my wife yet
my sisters under your porch take her home
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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