biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
