Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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