I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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