There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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