Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
