Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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