we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
