I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
