Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize