But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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