He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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