haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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