i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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