Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
