My room smells like vodka and shame
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
