pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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