I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
