just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
