I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
