Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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