Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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