the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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